Suffering, Surfing & Outreach

    There has been a lot to reflect on these past few days as I begin to transition into week four here at YWAM Kona - moments of discomfort alongside so many highs. I am so blessed to be able to share these very real and raw moments with you, and I am so incredibly thankful for the outpouring of love and encouragement I have received from my last post. Thank you so much for your kind words!

Pretty Plumeria flower appreciated on my morning run

    A couple months before I flew out to the island, I was mentally preparing myself to face moments that would be outside my comfort zone. I expected to be placed in situations that were uncomfortable and unfamiliar, however this actually appealed to me because I knew I wanted to grow beyond what felt safe. Last week, our speaker discussed practical ways to "hear God's voice," and on Wednesday, we practiced this throughout the island. Our task was to listen to God's voice, allowing Him to provide us with names or colours, giving us some direction as to who might want to receive prayer. My group felt led to a nearby beach, where we were able to pray a blessing over a baby and family. Giving myself grace, I was able to recognize I wasn't the only one grappling with anxiety, but others were just as new to this as I was. Although this was challenging, we were really able to see God move and speak to us clearly throughout this experience. This was such a valuable learning opportunity, and it was so encouraging hearing experiences other people had while stepping out, being bold in faith.

    One morning this week, I felt particularly moved. We began interceding in prayer while a speaker shared a story about a woman who had a vision of Jesus and the weeping room, and I want to share it with you. The last few years of my life especially, I have often struggled with the question of why God allows bad things to happen to good people - why this world is filled with suffering and injustice. I hope this story helps answer some of the burning questions you may have, just as it helped me. 

    The vision began with a woman who was brought outside a beautiful home. As she entered, a deep sense of peace filled her and she walked around, admiring the structure and creativity of the place. From where she was standing near the entrance, she could see straight to the back, where one room outshone all the others in beauty. Drawn to it, she walked forward to this room, curious why this room stood empty while the rest of the house was bustling with people. Before entering this room she glanced to her right, noticing multiple people in what looked like to be a library, stacking books throughout shelves which stretched to the ceiling. She turned back towards the large, radiant room, and she watched as light poured in through every doorway, filling the space with calming, almost sacred energy. She began to walk through this room, speechless at the calmness this room offered. In one corner, she noticed a rickety door, so small and narrow she wondered the purpose for it. Disregarding the humble appearance, something about this door called to her. The woman opened the door, and beneath her she saw a cold dark stair case, overseeing nothing at the bottom but darkness. She began walking down the stairs, reaching the bottom and stepping into a small, dimly lit room. In the centre sat Jesus, gazing out of a small window, weeping. She watched Him for a moment, her heart stirred, realizing he was watching over all of humanity. She understood He wasn't weeping from despair, but out of  compassion and love so deep, it ached. He was so deeply mourning for the pain and suffering His children were experiencing. He looked at the woman and gently invited her to sit with Him. She sensed that, in that moment, He was inviting her to carry some of that weight with Him - not because He needed her strength, but because He wanted her near, to see and understand His unconditional love and to mourn with Him, together. She felt His love with a strength so powerful and raw, reaching out with an endless desire to be close to every suffering soul, as if He was saying, "You're not alone in your pain, for I am here, weeping with you and for you." Sitting still, the woman embraced this moment, finally understanding the love and adoration, concluding that His love would always be enough. 

    My hope in sharing this with you is that it brings some clarity about who Jesus is, and how deeply He cares for you. His deep reaches out to your deep. He hears you, He sees you, and He loves you more than your mind could ever comprehend. 

 

    On an exciting note, this past Tuesday, our school leaders announced eleven incredible countries, where each of us will spend three months on mission starting this December! They instructed us to submit our top two preferences, and after lots of thought and prayer, I chose Tanzania and Thailand. With a couple days in between and lots of anticipation, the teams were announced on Friday, and I am beyond thrilled to share that I'll be flying out to Tanzania around December 22nd! I am feeling so blessed - words really can't describe. Our team will be serving in Kilimanjaro, Arusha, and Dar es Salaam. Our mission includes visiting unreached villages, working with orphanages, building homes and schools, distributing Bibles in the local language and sharing the love of Christ throughout the nation. After getting a general idea of what we may be doing, I felt a deep peace, knowing I would be heading exactly where I was being called. I have never been more sure of something. My compassion lies in Africa, and the thought of this giving me some direction for life afterwards makes me feel like this is the beginning of something much bigger. This is my passion. This is my calling. 

    To add on to that news, my roommate Mollie will be heading to Tanzania with me as well! Having a familiar face on this journey will be such a blessing. I couldn't be more thrilled to experience missions alongside someone as lovely as her. 

Mollie and I moments before finding out we were going to the nations together!! <3

    I also have been feeling super determined to pick up a new hobby... there was one specifically I had in mind. I had to push aside my fear of sharing the water with sharks (thanks to my grandpa's stories before I came here, haha), but it is finally happening! Learning to surf has always been a dream of mine, so it's been pretty cool that I have been able to pursue these wishes while being here. A friend of mine grew up surfing in California, so he generously reached out and offered to teach me. I have just been working on popping up on the board and balancing, although I did stand up and catch a wave or two which is super exciting. Now I'm just patiently waiting for the day I can consistently ride waves without getting caught in the reef or stepping on sea urchins...

    My days have been pretty full, but I feel I am starting to get into the groove of things - a routine if you will. 

I've been working on recruiting a couple girls in my building to run with me in the mornings, it has been such a delight to get to know each of them on this level! A lot of prayer has gone into the idea of starting a run club on campus... as fitness has been such an excellent outlet for me over the past few years. Running usually takes up an hour of my day where I can physically work hard while clearing my mind, allowing me to reset momentarily setting aside my feelings and emotions. Gathering a group of girls to run together could be an awesome way to encourage one another and push each other to limits we didn't know we were capable of reaching. 

    This past Saturday night, our YWAM base had the opportunity to volunteer for the 2024 VinFast Ironman World Championship here in Kona. I stood by the finish line for a portion of the night, watching in absolute awe as the athletes crossed that line. It was truly inspiring to consider the immense discipline it took to reach that moment.  The thought of all the training they had done behind the scenes and the hard work they put in when no one was watching is so completely impressive. 

    One thing I have been so grateful for is the friendships and unity of the women in my room and building. I am so thankful for these girls, they have been such a constant source of laughs and positivity, nurturing my femininity while allowing me to embrace all I am made to be. These girls are kind and intentional; they listen well and love deeply. I am so blessed to know each one of you, and to grow with you as we journey through this season together. 

Mollie & I snorkelling for the first time at Two Step

With love,

Layla